How To Outfox Your Friends When You Don't Have A Clue Spotlight Tour {excerpt and giveaway}

I'm thrilled to have the How To Outfox Your Friends When You Don't Have A Clue Spotlight Tour stopping by today, with an excerpt and giveaway...

How To Outfox Your Friends When You Don't Have a Clue

(My Life Is A Zoo #3)

by Jess Keating

October 6, 2015

Sourcebooks Jabberwocky

Surprise! Ana’s long-distance BFF is finally coming back to visit. But with her purple hair and new attitude, Liv is barely the girl Ana remembers. This new Live probably thinks a birthday party at the zoo is lame. Maybe if Ana has a supersecret sleepover instead, she’d never have to introduce Liv and Ashley, former enemy and now Ana’s best-ish friend. What could go wrong? 

goodreads / amazon / b&n / indiebound

Praise for How to Outfox Your Friends When You Don’t Have a Clue:

“With her trademark kid-oriented wit and lighthearted touch, Keating leads readers through the daily emotional ups and downs of the typical just-turned-teenager who is trying to juggle hormones, parents, schoolwork, and, most importantly, her friends...A sweet reminder that being middle school girl is about far more than boys and makeup.” -Kirkus, starred review

How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes are Untied

(My Life Is A Zoo #1)

What would middle school be like if you lived in a zoo?

Ana didn't ask to be named after an anaconda. She didn't ask for zoologist parents who look like safari guides. And she definitely didn't ask for a twin brother whose life goal seems to be terrorizing her with his pet reptiles. Now, to make matters worse, her parents have decided to move the whole family INTO the zoo! All of which gives the Sneerers (the clan of carnivorous female predators in her class) more ammunition to make her life miserable-and squash any hope of class tennis stud, Zack, falling in love with her. Ana tries to channel her inner chameleon and fade into the background, but things are changing too quickly for her to keep up. 

goodreads / amazon / b&n / indiebound

How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel

(My Life Is A Zoo #2)

Ana Wright's summer just got terrifying. She's finally getting used to living in a zoo (no, seriously—she lives with her family in an actual zoo), when she's assigned to work in the new shark tank. With her worst enemy. Forget about sharks! Ashley is the ultimate predator.  And after Ana’s favorite Croc peed on Ashley’s shoes, she’s probably out for revenge.

goodreads /amazon / b&n / indiebound

Praise for the My Life is a Zoo Series:

“Daydream about summer this winter with Jess Keating's latest read...Ana Wright is back and better than ever in the second book to the My Life Is A Zoo series.” –Girls’ Life.com on How to Outswim a Shark Without a Snorkel

“Keating perfectly captures the fears, awkwardness, and excitement of being 12 and delivers a positive story with plenty of humor that emphasizes thinking for and becoming comfortable with oneself.” –Booklist on How to Outswim a Shark Without a Snorkel

“Keating delivers a fun-filled, pitch-perfect book…Humor, poignancy and fascinating zoological facts infuse the narrative with a warm conversational tone…An amusing, highly readable book about the perils of being 12 in a snake-eat-snake world.” Kirkus, starred review on How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied

“Life is literally a zoo for shy twelve-year-old Ana, who is trying to avoid seventh-grade bullies while hiding that her family lives among crocodiles and elephants.” –Los Angeles Times on How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes are Untied

EXCERPT FROM HOW TO OUTFOX YOUR FRIENDS

“Why is everyone acting so weird today? Dad even said we were celebrating something today? Is that what all your texts were about?”

He shook his head, but Daz could have angel wings and be playing the harp on a cloud and he still wouldn’t look innocent.

“No reason,” he said. The mischievous glimmer in his eyes set my teeth on edge. Nodding to my door, he smiled again. “Go ahead. Go on in!”

He might as well have been telling me to hop into a live volcano at this point.

I peeked back at my door, inspecting the knob for any telltale signs of Daz prankery.

Bloodstains?

Nope.

Hidden insects?

Nope.

Superglue?

Nope.

What was he up to?

“You didn’t let one of your snakes loose in my room again, did you? I told you, I am not going to keep helping you find Oscar if you’re dumb enough to set him loose in there.”

He giggled and closed his door mysteriously. “Good luuuuck,” he said from behind the door.

I frowned, giving myself a pep talk. I will not live in fear of my brother. I will not live in fear of my brother!

Cracking my door open, I sniffed inside. It might seem weird, but there was no way he was going to get me with a skunk again like the Great Stink of ’11.

My room smelled normal from the outside.

But when I yanked my door open, my heart fell into my butt.

“Oh my God,” I breathed. My ears began to tingle, and my vision began to do swirly--whirlies. “You’re kidding me!” I steadied myself on the door frame as I gaped at her.

It wasn’t a reptile staring back at me.

Instead, it was a girl with bright eyes, clunky boots, and fingerless gloves.

A face I hadn’t seen in months!

“You’re actually here!” I yelped.

Liv—-as in, the Liv, my lifelong best friend who I hadn’t seen since she moved to New Zealand—-uncrossed her arms and wiggled her fingers in the air. “Surpriiiise!”

“What are you doing here?!” I fumbled, kicking my dirty socks out of the way to reach her.

“Is that any way to greet your best friend?” Liv stood up from my bed and scrambled over to me, giving me a giant hug. She smelled like strawberry body spray and licorice.

“Sorry!” I said. “I’m just so surprised to see you! I mean, look at you!”

I didn’t mean to be staring, but I couldn’t help myself. She looked so…different! 

Not bad different, but not at all like the Liv that moved away six months ago. Her face was thinner, like her cheeks had lost their squishiness, and her chin had gotten a bit pointier. A knitted, wooly hat was tugged down over her ears.

When she was here, she used to live in jeans, T--shirts, and cardigans. You know, typical geeky girl stuff. But the girl in front of me was wearing tight black pants, a black long--sleeved shirt layered with a T--shirt from some band I’d never heard of, and a clunky pair of black boots that easily made her two inches taller than me. She looked like the kind of girl that cardigans would run away from in fear. Some sort of inky, dark lip gloss made her teeth look extra-white every time she smiled.

“You’re so tall!” I sputtered, stepping back to take another look at her.

And you have chesticles now! I didn’t say that part out loud.

She beamed. “Dad said I’ve grown over an inch since we left. It must be the fresh New Zealand air.” She spun around, yanked off her hat, and twirled around like a ballerina, with her dark purple--streaked hair whipping around her.

Wait.

Purple hair?!

“Whoa!” I said, reaching out to touch a lock of it. “Your parents actually let you dye your hair purple?!” I tried to picture straight--laced, cut--the--crusts--off--your--sandwich Mr. and Mrs. Reed letting Liv do something so outrageous. They wouldn’t even let her wear tinted lip gloss until she was twelve!

She grinned. “They didn’t let me, but it’s kind of too late now, isn’t it? So awesome, right? Leilani has purple hair too, but hers is more magenta--y, like hot purple. Mine’s called Violent Violet,” she said, like that explained everything.

I swallowed.

Violent Violet.

My best friend who stops to pick up ladybugs from the side of the road so they don’t get stepped on had Violent Violet hair.

Jess Keating is a zoologist and the author of the critically acclaimed How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied. Jess is also the author of the playful nonfiction picture book Pink is for Blobfish (Knopf Children’s, 2016). She lives in Ontario, Canada, where she loves writing books for adventurous and funny kids. Visit Jess at jesskeating.com.

website / twitter / tumblr / instagram

Win a complete set of books 1-3 in Jess Keating's My Life Is A Zoo series!

giveaway runs from Sept. 15 - Nov. 3

this is a blog tour wide giveaway and is not run by Word Spelunking

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How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel Blog Tour {Review & Interview}

I'm thrilled to have the How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel Blog Tour stopping by today because I just love this series! Check out my review and interview with author Jess Keating below...

How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel 

(My Life Is A Zoo #2)

by Jess Keating

1/6/15

Sourcebooks Jabberwocky

What would life be like if you lived in a zoo? Just ask Ana Wright…

After becoming the zoo’s most popular student ambassador, Ana Wright is facing her busiest summer yet. For the first time since her best friend  Liv, left, Ana is  starting to love her life- even if her family does live in a zoo. She has a whole summer away from the Sneerers, the clan of carnivorous predadors…er, girls, at her school.

But things are changing at the zoo. When Ana’s famous grandfather funds a new aquarium, and the meanest girl at school volunteers to help out, Ana’s life goes from sunny to sunk.

Now Ana’s stuck working with her arch-enemy, chasing after escaped hermit crabs, and cleaning up even more animal poop than she was before. Ana’s newest adventure has her questioning why, after finally getting her life sorted out, do things have to change again.

Goodreads / Amazon / B&N / Indiebound

How To Outrun A Crocodile When Your Shoes Untied

(My Life Is A Zoo #1)

Jess Keating

6/3/14

Sourcebooks Jabberwocky

What would middle school be like if you lived in a zoo?
Ana didn't ask to be named after an anaconda. She didn't ask for zoologist parents who look like safari guides. And she definitely didn't ask for a twin brother whose life goal seems to be terrorizing her with his pet reptiles. Now, to make matters worse, her parents have decided to move the whole family INTO the zoo! All of which gives the Sneerers (the clan of carnivorous female predators in her class) more ammunition to make her life miserable-and squash any hope of class tennis stud, Zack, falling in love with her. Ana tries to channel her inner chameleon and fade into the background, but things are changing too quickly for her to keep up.  Goodreads / My Review

Last year, Jess Keating’s How To Outrun A Crocodile With Your Shoes Untied charmed me completely with its wacky setting, lovable heroine, and sparkling storytelling. Well Keating returns to Ana Wright’s animal filled world in the wildly funny and sweetly adorkable sequel, How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel!

Just when soon-to-be eighth grader, Ana Wright, thought life was getting back to normal (as normal as it can get for the granddaughter of a world famous man and who is forced by her parents to live INSIDE a zoo, oh and after becoming the youngest presenter at the zoo, is sort of semi-famous herself) after the wild events at the beginning of her summer. She still lives in a zoo (but kind of loves it), her BFF is still on the other side of the world (but Ana’s made new friends), she gets to hang out with cutie Kevin (who may or may not like her), and now the zoo is home to an amazing marine life exhibit, where Ana will work and hang out with sharks(!)...oh and her worst enemy, Ashley, will be working with her...ok, so maybe Ana’s life just isn’t meant to be normal!

How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel is just as awesome as its predecessor! Jess Keating is such a wonderful storyteller. who effortlessly combines humor, fun facts, heart-warming moments, and relatable teen situations, to create unforgettable and unputdownable middle-grade fiction. I love the zany zoo setting in these books so much! With her zoological background, Keating brings so much experience and knowledge to this world. In this book, Keating vividly creates an ocean world, full of sharks; jellies; seahorses; crabs; shells; and more, within the confines of the zoo. And she expertly weaves in little tidbits and fun animal facts throughout the story in a way that will have readers learning a lot, and not even realizing it!

With an absolute pitch-perfect voice, How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel captures those cringe-worthy tween years in laugh-out-loud ways. From big firsts (kisses, leg shaving, shopping for the perfect butt shaping bathing suit) to romantic woes (crushes on guys who may or may not like you back, crushes on gorgeous guys WAY too old for you, and friends who have weird crushes on your gross brother) and tween toughies (mean girls, complicated friendships, and figuring out who you are), Keating explores it all in ways that young (and old!) readers will relate to.

Adorkable heroine, Ana, is as endearing, entertaining, and lovable as ever! She’s just such a fun, relatable character to hang out with for a few hours. I loved, loved, loved watching her surprising story with Ashley, her adorable story with Kevin, and her heart-filled story with herself unfold. And of course, Ana’s world is filled with so many other colorful, fun characters, including her oddly charming brother Daz, her sweet new friend Bella, the oh so hot older guy Logan, and more!

How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel ends with an exciting splash, surprising arrest, and another sunshine-in-your-heart-makes-you-smile-big (but not in an overly cheesy way)-and-wanna-high-five-Ana kind of way ending.

My Final Thoughts: Jess Keating gives readers everything they could hope for in their middle-grade fiction: an awesome heroine, sparkling storytelling, captivating settings, giggle-inducing humor, and a lot of heart. How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel is a spectacular sequel in a must read series!

MY RATING

Thank you so much for having me, Aeicha!

What three words best describe How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel?

Swimsuits, sharks, sabotage!

Grab a copy of How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel and answer the following:

favorite chapter? Chapter 10, where Ana goes swimsuit shopping. Because I don't know a single person who hasn't looked in a fitting room mirror and cringed at how their butt looks.

favorite page? Page 275, because it's one of Ana's bravest moments! (It might involve a certain boy...)

favorite setting/place? I love writing scenes that took place in the new shark tank. Imagine getting to hang out with seahorses and sharks all day!

flip to a random page and give us a 1-2 sentences teaser:

Page 115: "I mean, everyone knows that puberty is no picnic. That's why I hear so many adults talk about how they wouldn't go back to middle school if they were given a million bucks. Thanks for the pep talk, guys."

Your character Ana has had some zany adventures throughout the two books in this series...how has she changed or grown since book one? What is your most favorite thing about Ana?

Ana's biggest challenge in the first book was learning to be brave enough to be herself. But as we all know, that is no easy task! Ana is braver than she was, but she's still learning how to navigate her world of friends and frenemies.

My favorite thing about Ana is her readiness to dive into any situation, no matter how afraid she is. Even when she's making mistakes—and boy, she makes a doozy in this book— she makes it with gusto! 

The zany zoo and animal filled adventures in How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel are awesome, but I also love how wonderfully you capture those tough tween years. How important was it to you to explore this aspect of the story as realistically as possible? Did you use any of your own tween years as inspiration for Ana’s wildly funny world?

I'm so happy to hear this! While I will always love writing the backdrops of a wacky zoo, the emotional heart of Ana's story is always the most important to me. I wanted every reader to recognize parts of themselves in Ana, or the situations she finds herself in, and feel like they can relate to her.

Growing up, I was definitely an odd duck (surprised?!), and many of the feelings I had about fitting in, the "cool kids", and finding who I was have all found their way into Ana's story. 

Let’s talk sharks! I LOVE sharks, especially great whites, and am so jealous Ana got to hang out with sharks (albeit, much smaller ones than the mighty great whites)...do you have a favorite kind of shark? As a zoologist, do you have any experience with sharks?

I've always been amazed by sharks, and great whites are so mysterious and powerful, they capture my imagination, for sure. I haven't had a chance to swim with them yet, but I'd love to hop into one of those shark cages! I also think goblin sharks are pretty cool, because they look like they came straight from your nightmares!

The scenes where Ana is interacting with sharks are also taken from my experience in university, where I was able to study them up close. Their skin really does feel sandpapery, just like you read in the books!

I love all the animal fun facts included in these books...what are your top three favorite animal fun facts?

There are too many to choose from, but marine animals can be so bizarre, they're a close of their own. Some of my favorite facts:

• Some sharks can have up to 35,000 teeth.
• Octopuses have three hearts and blue blood.
• The large bumps you see on the heads of humpback whales are actually hair follicles. (Being mammals, many whales have hair!)

I adore Ana, but her world is filled with so many other fantastic characters...if you could choose one of your other characters to star in their own spin-off, who would you pick and what would their story be called?

This is a hard question! I love writing scenes with Daz, because he always steals the show. But I also think Bella has some stories to tell. There's something secretive and clever about her, isn't there? Maybe one day...

Crocodiles, sharks, and Sneerers, oh my! Ana has faced some pretty intimidating things and had some wild adventures....so, what’s next for adorkable Ana?!

There are more Ana adventures in the works as we speak! I hope to let the cat out of the bag soon! (You know, figuratively.)  

What is the last book or movie or tv show that:

made you laugh at loud?

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy. (And how cool was Gamora?!)

made you cry?

Book: I reread CODE NAME VERITY recently. Sob-fest.

scared you?

The trailer on TV for the new Woman in Black 2 movie. Yes, the trailer. I'm a giant wuss.

inspired you?

Movie: BELLE. This was such a beautiful story!

you absolutely loved (like an 11 out of 10 kind of love)?

Book: A PERFECTLY MESSED UP STORY, by Patrick McDonnell.

If you were to create and bake a cupcake inspired by How To Outswim A Shark Without A Snorkel, what would it look and taste like, and what would you call it?

It would be a blue velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting, covered in lime green and orange jellybeans. It would be sweet, but not too sweet, and have a hint of summery-lemon. I'd call it "Sharknado and Beans". Oh, and it would magically make you look awesome in a bathing suit, too.

Thank you so much for stopping by, Jess! That cupcake sounds super yummy *_*

website * goodreads * twitter 

As a zoologist turned middle grade and picture book author, Jess Keating has been sprayed by skunks, bitten by crocodiles, and been a victim to the dreaded paper cut. Her debut How To Outrun A Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied is coming in Summer 2014 from Sourcebooks Jabberwocky, with a sequel to follow. Her nonfiction picture book, PINK IS FOR BLOBFISH, will be published by Knopf in 2016. 

She has a Masters degree in Animal Science and a growing collection of books that are threatening to take over her house. She lives in Ontario, Canada, where she loves hiking, watching nerdy documentaries, and writing books for adventurous and funny kids.

How To Outrun A Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied Blog Tour {Review, Guest Post, Giveaway}

I'm super excited to be participating in the How To Outrun A Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied Blog Tour!!! The very awesome Jess Keating is here today with a fantastic Guest Post, you can check out my Review of this wildly fun middle-grade debut, AND you can enter the Giveaway to win a copy...

How To Outrun A Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied

(My Life is a Zoo #1)

by Jess Keating

6/3/14

Sourcebooks Jabberwocky

What would middle school be like if you lived in a zoo?

Ana didn't ask to be named after an anaconda. She didn't ask for zoologist parents who look like safari guides. And she definitely didn't ask for a twin brother whose life goal seems to be terrorizing her with his pet reptiles. Now, to make matters worse, her parents have decided to move the whole family INTO the zoo! All of which gives the Sneerers (the clan of carnivorous female predators in her class) more ammunition to make her life miserable-and squash any hope of class tennis stud, Zack, falling in love with her. Ana tries to channel her inner chameleon and fade into the background, but things are changing too quickly for her to keep up.

Goodreads / Amazon / B&N / Indiebound 

An adorkable, lovable heroine; sweet, crush-worthy boys; hilariously and awkwardly epic moments; and an out of the box setting? Check, check, check, and check! I love everything about Jess Keating’s wildly funny and charming middle-grade debut How To Outrun A Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied...I mean, just that title alone bakes my cupcakes!

Seventh-grader Ana is having a less than fun end of the school year. Her BFF moved across the world, her zoologists parents; reptile loving twin brother; and famous grandpa can be cringe-worthily embarrassing, her crush Zack doesn’t exactly notice her, and the Sneerers, a group of nasty, mean girls, have decided Ana is their favorite prey. Then the unthinkable happens: Ana’s parents decide to move the family INTO the zoo, forcing an unwanted spotlight on poor Ana. Ana must decide whether she’ll fade into the background or shine bright!

Author Jess Keating combines her zoologist background, sparkling storytelling, fun imagination, and has used them to craft a wonderfully written middle-grade debut that is full of laughs, relatable characters, and heart. With a pitch-perfect and genuine voice, Keating captures the middle-grade years so fantastically. From embarrassing family members, mean kids, schoolwork troubles, confusing crushes, and awkward encounters, Ana’s contemporary world feels so real and relatable. And so so funny! I seriously giggle-snorted from beginning to end! I just love the wildly fun and unpredictable zoo setting. Keating brings so much knowledge and interesting info to this zoo party!

The setting, storytelling, and humor are all awesome, but what I love best about How To Outrun A Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied is the main character, Ana! Ana is such a lovable, endearing kindred spirit! Her witty observations amused me, her honest musings charmed me, and her courage moved me. Young readers will easily relate to Ana and want to be her new BFF (I know I do!!)...after all, we ALL have a little bit of Ana’s adorakable, awkward, awesome spirit in us! Ana is surrounded by a memorable and entertaining cast of quirky and surprising characters that readers will love getting to know.

I just love the way this book concludes in such a sunshine-in-your-heart-makes-you-smile-big (but not in an overly cheesy way)-and-wanna-high-five-Ana kind of way!

MY FINAL THOUGHTS: A little bit of romance, a little bit of well deserved revenge, and a whole lot of laughs, heart, spirit, and “I can SO relate” moments, fill the pages of How To Outrun A Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied. Readers young and old will go wild for this book and impatiently be awaiting its sequel. A definite MUST read!

MY RATING

Hey all!

I'm so happy to be here today, chatting about my new middle grade novel, HOW TO OUTRUN A CROCODILE WHEN YOUR SHOES ARE UNTIED. In it, Ana Wright is discovering that being twelve and a half is no picnic. Her best friend has moved away to New Zealand, her grandfather is a world famous animal adventurist, and her parents have just decided they're going to move the whole family into the zoo to live next to the hippos.

If it sounds like this is a recipe for embarrassment—you're right! Ana has some absolutely mortifying moments in this book. Some even occur on live television. Of course, these were the moments that most of my early readers thought were funniest! After writing so many cringe-worthy scenes for my poor Ana, I even started to feel a bit guilty.

But we all have embarrassing moments, and so, to level out the playing field for Ana, I thought I would share some of my own. Here they are, in no random order.

Mainly because they all sucked.

• THE SWINGSET INCIDENT

Sounds innocent enough, doesn't it? A swingset! What can go wrong? Well. Picture me in ninth grade. I'm wearing jeans and a button up shirt that I got at a thrift store. I'm swinging up a storm (ironically, of course, because you're way too cool to legitimately enjoy swingsets when you're in grade nine, duh), and I'm surrounded by a bunch of friends, both boys and girls.

Swing, swing, swing. It's all fine until we decide to have a contest to see who can jump the farthest. We all think this is the best idea ever, but let me tell you: it's a recipe for disaster, my friends. We all line up on the swings, do the crazy 'leg-pump-to-swing-hard' and count down. Three, two, one—we jump!

I flew through the air like a graceful gazelle and nailed the landing. I won! Hurrah! Take that, losers!

If only my shirt had joined me. Instead, my sleeve had gotten caught on the chain, and that incredible leap of mine caused all the buttons on my shirt to fling off in all directions, leaving my shirt behind on the swing. I jumped. And yet my shirt did not. It's a marvel of physics! You can imagine how the rest went down, let's move on now.

• THE CEREMONY SKUNK

I'll start this one off by telling you that when I was in high school, I worked at a wildlife rehabilitation center. This is a super cool job! It also means I had to deal with skunks on a daily basis. Skunks are great! But as you know, they also do this pesky thing where they SPRAY you with the devil's vile stench and you end up reeking for ages. Fast forward to one of the last days of school. I'm about to graduate! Things are dandy! Then, I'm at work the day before my commencement ceremony.

Pépé Le Pew, a crotchety old man of a skunk, didn't get the memo about my graduation. He didn't care that I needed to be in a huge crowd tomorrow, surrounded by friends and teachers. During a vaccination procedure—BOOM—he sprays me. My hair. My face. There is no stopping it when it happens, folks. And despite popular belief, tomato juice is wishful thinking at best.

You know when you graduate and you have to walk up and grab your diploma, and shake someone's hand and get your picture taken? Imagine the look on my school principal's face when he reaches out his hand, leans in for a picture and…*sniff sniff* "Is that you?"

Mortified. And such a wonderful way for the school to remember me by.

• THE COWBOY KISS

Ugh. So, back in the day my seventh grade teacher says we're going to put on a play. Not just any play though—a Western. Yep. I somehow ended up in the lead role (yay?), starring opposite a boy. Let's call him…Kyle. Kyle is the class clown. Kyle is so overly confident and cocky, you sort of want to kick him in the shins. Kyle is so happy he gets to play a cowboy, because he gets to use a plastic gun that shoots a "BANG" flag out the end.

Fast forward through some rehearsal time. Our teacher decides this play needs some romance! But not too much, she says. She adds in a scene where the lead boy (played by Kyle) tries to kiss the girl (me) on the cheek, BUT—here's the kicker—I'm to turn my head at the last moment so he doesn't kiss me. So overall, I'm thinking "okay, I can handle a non-kiss."

We practice the play for a month and get every scene perfect. I know just how to move, where to look, and most importantly, I don't have to kiss Kyle (because, ew), so all is well. And every time, he does what he's told.

Then comes opening night.

We're three quarters of the way through the play, and it's going okay! I haven't forgotten my lines, and Kyle's actually doing a good job. Maybe he's not so bad, I think. Then we reach the 'almost-kiss' scene.

That's when Kyle decides to go "off script".

At that pivotal moment where I'm supposed to turn my head, therefore brush off his almost-kiss, Kyle grabs my hand. This isn't in the script! I panic. But Kyle had a planned well, because Kyle is evil. Just as my parents lift their camera above the rest of the audience for a photo op, Kyle yanks me over and plants one on me. Right on the lips.

I'm absolutely horrified. Not only do I stutter through my next line, but my face turns beet red. Because life just isn't fair, the audience interprets this as part of the play, and what's more—that I like Kyle, because I'm blushing hardcore. They think it's hilarious, applaud, and Kyle is now a local celebrity. And me? To this day, my own father still asks when I'm going to admit my love for Kyle. Seriously.

For more embarrassing shenanigans, you should definitely read my book. I promise Kyle isn't in it.

Thanks so much for having me, Aeicha!

You are so very welcome! Thanks so much for stopping by, Jess!

website * goodreads * twitter * facebook

As a middle grade author and zoologist, Jess Keating has been sprayed by skunks, bitten by crocodiles, and been a victim to the dreaded paper cut. Her debut How To Outrun A Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied is coming in Summer 2014 from Sourcebooks Jabberwocky, with a sequel to follow. She has a Masters degree in Animal Science and a growing collection of books that are threatening to take over her house. She lives in Ontario, Canada, where she loves hiking, playing ukulele, and writing books for adventurous and funny kids.

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